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Running into the coffee shop dude—who, in the course of our catch-up conversation, mentioned he was seriously dating someone—had made that clear. I’m back on the dating “scene”—but that scene looks far different than it did before I had her.I take my time to get to know the people I date, and look at the evening much more as a chance to connect with another adult than a chance to meet someone who might be my perfect match.I always dreaded the third date, when idiosyncrasies became apparent, when it was clear that maybe we weren’t destined to be together.And by the fifth date, I was often back on Tinder and Bumble, looking for someone else to begin the fantasy all over again.But instead, the more more more approach had the opposite effect.
I asked how he was, but really, all I wanted to know was who he was. Sure enough, we had gone on five dates before I had ghosted him.We had both gotten caught in the heat of the moment, and while condoms were discussed, they weren't used.By the time I found out I was pregnant I was in a different country; I made the decision to raise my child on my own.I turned around to see a thirtysomething guy with reddish hair and glasses. ” I nodded as I racked my brain, trying to figure out who he was. I got a thrill when I matched with someone on Tinder, loved the back-and-forth banter that made a day at work fly by, and loved dressing up and getting ready for an evening.
Part of the reason for dating, of course, was because I wanted to be in a relationship.
But I did start asking friends if they knew anyone who they could set me up with, and also began occasionally getting babysitters to go out with platonic friends.